Relationship Help for Guys

Real advice to help regular guys blast through their relationship problems

What are the signs she isn't in love with me anymore?

7 minutes

The word "love" is generally used as a universal term, as if everybody loves the same way. But the reality is women and men love each other very differently. This can make it very tough for guys to tell if their partner is still in love with them. You need to pay attention to her behaviour to spot the signs of love.

She doesn’t give you much attention

When you and your girlfriend were first dating, you probably couldn’t get enough of each other. Seeing each other all the time, staying in touch on your phones or chatting online. Everything you did could be a talking point, she just loved hearing from you. Obviously over time as this becomes less “new” and more comfortable this attention will reduce. But if she's happily in love she will make an effort to check up on you throughout the day and still ask you what you’re up to, just because she cares.

However, if she’s falling out of love, she will want less contact with you. She will avoid giving you attention if she can. You may not hear from her all day and only speak with when you come home from work. She won’t be interested in what you’ve been up to or how your day has been.

Instead of giving her attention to you, she may be spending more time on social media, talking and seeing friends a lot more, or focusing all her efforts on the kids. If a woman is in love with you then you will be the first person she wants to talk to about stuff going on in her life and will actively take an interest in yours. If it feels like she would rather give her attention elsewhere, then she may not love you anymore.

It feels like she’s just being friendly to you

When your girlfriend talks to you, does it feel like she is being fully open like a lover? Or does it feel more friendly like she is just being polite? This could be a sign that she doesn’t love you anymore.

When a woman loves you, she will behave with a certain lightness around you. She will want to share those lovey-dovey feelings with you, and want to make you feel as great as she does. It will feel like she is your number one fan!

If she doesn't love you anymore, she will behave more like a friend. Things will seem more polite. She might only talk to you about non-personal things, like what’s for dinner or what time you’re going around your folks on the weekend. There will be less emotion generally as she closes herself up. You might still have a laugh and a joke with her, but things won’t have the same intensity. Pay attention to the vibe of your interactions, this can be very revealing.

You can’t seem to do anything right

When you first met, you probably couldn’t do anything wrong in the eyes of your girlfriend. She focused on all of your positive traits and ignored your bad habits. She amplified the best parts of you, giving you encouragement and making you feel great.

If she’s fallen out of love with you, her behaviour might have flipped, and you just can’t seem to do anything right anymore. Now all your positive traits are ignored and she focuses on all of your bad ones. It seems like all the little things you do are worthy of her criticism. And when you do listen and try to change, there is still a problem! You can’t win.

It's true what they say, love does make us blind. But the opposite also applies. If she doesn’t love you anymore, she will now be blind to the things that she loved. If she doesn’t love you, she will also be trying to explain to herself sub-consciously why she doesn't love you. That means she will be looking for reasons in you that may have made her fall out of love. She will be focused on everything you do and come to the conclusion that your behaviour is annoying and frustrating. Seems weird, but this is how the brain seems to work.

She’s told you she’s not in love with you

This may seem so obvious that you’re wondering why it's even here. But if she has straight up told you that she is not “in love” with you anymore, then she isn't in love with you anymore.

The problem with guys hearing this is they don’t really want to believe it. We’ve all been there. Our emotions take over and the information in front of us is ignored. Sometimes you gotta ignore the heart, and listen to the head.

If she has also asked to break up, have a break or try open relationship, then she doesn’t have much love left for you anymore.

She doesn’t touch you, and cringes when you touch her

A girl in love will love touching and being touched. Touch is very important to women generally, they express themselves through their bodies a lot more than guys do. If they’re in love, they’ll happily engage in little touches all the time. She may want to stroke you randomly, give you hugs regularly or just want to be next to you as much as possible.

This is how girls express their love. If she doesn’t seem enthusiastic about touching you, or she seems to cringe when you try to initiate touch, then this could be a sign that she doesn’t love you.

Needless to say, if she isn’t engaging you for sex, or keeps herself separated from you in bed, these are huge red flags. Intimacy is an important component of keeping the love alive.

Your gut tells you she doesn't love you

Sometimes reading all of the subtle signals can be difficult. It's easy to get confused or misread situations, especially if other people are telling you everything is fine. Sometimes the best thing to do is to trust your gut.

Humans have been around for a long time, and our bodies have evolved to pick up on subtle signals even if we’re not aware of them. What does your gut tell you? If you have a strange feeling that things just aren’t right, that the love just isn’t there anymore, then it's worth paying attention to.

Summary

When men are in love, they don't always feel as if they need to express it through their actions. But for women, their love and their actions are intertwined. If she acts like she loves you, she probably does. If she doesn't act like she loves you, she probably doesn't. If her general behaviour suggests that she has no feelings towards you, then the love may have gone.