Relationship Help for Guys

Real advice to help regular guys blast through their relationship problems

Why did she break up with me?

4 minutes

Going through a breakup can be very confusing, especially if you thought things were going well and it hits you out of the blue. If she’s given you her reasons, you may be even more confused, mainly because women don’t really know why they make decisions when it comes to relationships, they follow their hearts, and so their justifications don’t seem to make sense from a guy’s perspective.

The truth of the matter is, if she's breaking up with you there are only two real reasons: you can no longer provide what she needs, or she is getting her needs met in a better way by someone else.

Why are her reasons for breaking up so confusing?

If you’ve asked her to explain why she broke up with you, she may have talked at length about her reasons. The problem is, these reasons are usually only half truthful, and they can be very confusing for us guys.

“I love you, but I’m not in love with you”. “I’m going through a rough patch right now”. “I feel like we have grown apart/we’re on different paths/we’re different people now”. “I don’t deserve you/you deserve to be with someone who can make you happy”.

If you’ve heard any of these, or similar, it probably didn’t really help. Girls aren’t actually all that good at explaining why they feel certain ways simply because they don’t really know. Girls also hate feeling like the bad guy and will often soften the blow to the guy if they think a breakup might hurt him too much. Sometimes there's just no good reason to break up with you, so she has to make something up. The end result is vague explanations that don’t make a lot of sense.

Why did she really break up with you?

Whether she told you so or not, your girlfriend will only really break up with you if you can’t meet her needs. What these needs are may vary depending on the type of girl she is or what stage of life she is in, but generally her needs can be met by a confident man that she regards is better than herself and that can provide for her.

When your confidence falls or you lose your ability to provide, your girlfriend may want to break up. Likewise, if she meets someone else who she believes can meet her needs better than you can, this could cause a breakup.

She’s breaking up with you because her needs have changed

Girls have different needs at different times of their lives and depending on their circumstances. As she grows, her needs might change. If she has children, her needs might change. After having children, her needs might change. See a pattern here? Basically her needs could change whenever her life changes and if you’re not meeting those needs, it’s a good enough reason to break up with you. Girls want a guy that can meet all those needs at all times. But sometimes they “settle” for certain types of guys as a temporary solution to a particular stage in her life. Were you her dream guy, or just the right guy at the right time? A breakup means your time is up.

Someone else can meet her needs better than you can

Perhaps the most common reason your girlfriend will break up with you is because she has met someone else. And she believes that person can meet her needs better than you can. Maybe he’s more confident, maybe he has a better lifestyle, maybe he’s better in the sack. Whatever the actual reason, she probably won’t be sharing it with you.

You can't meet her needs, and she’s holding out for something better

Maybe her needs haven’t changed, but she doesn’t think you are good at meeting them right now. Sometimes girls will break up with guys simply because they believe they can get a “better” guy, and being with you simply holds her back.


A breakup is a painful thing, and is sometimes made even more confusing by the senseless reasons that are provided. The reality is, couples get together because they meet each other’s needs. To make matters worse these needs can change throughout our lives. If she broke up with you, her needs at the time weren’t being met.