Relationship Help for Guys

Real advice to help regular guys blast through their relationship problems

Why does she want a break?

4 minutes

Even when things seem to be going well, it's not uncommon for a woman to ask for a break in a relationship. Why does she do this? There are a few possible reasons, but they may surprise you.

She wants to break up but doesn't want to hurt you

If she's asking for a break, then she wants to be away from you. This is obvious. But the reality is it's unlikely she just wants a break. She is probably unhappy in her relationship and is signalling to you that she wants out. However, she probably doesn't want to hurt your feelings or be seen as the villain. Suggesting a break is her stepping stone into a full break up. She may be hopeful that you'll get the message and be the one to break up with her instead.

She's wants a break so she can try being with someone else

Girls don't like to leave relationships until they have someone else lined up. That's part of their nature. They seek security from a man. If she has her eye on a new guy, but she's unsure if she can actually "lock him down" then she may suggest a break rather than a full break-up. During this period she will hope to convince the new guy to be with her, whilst keeping you in reserve should things not go how she wants.

She thinks she can do better than you

Ultimately, her asking for a break implies that she thinks she can do better than you. She may even believe that you are holding her back. Time away from you will give her the opportunity to test the water and see what sort of other guys she can attract. However, her uncertainty means she still wants you to be there just in case.

She's testing you

Girls subconsciously test guys all the time, and asking for a break is a big test. It puts a lot of pressure on the guy, and she wants to see how you'll handle this pressure.

If she's asking for a break then she feels that you need her more than she needs you. This is a huge turn off for women because they want a guy who is not dependent on her. She wants a guy that is emotionally strong. This is a positive survival trait. A guy that is unaffected by high pressure situations can handle her and the world confidently. So testing you by pushing your emotional buttons will give her honest feedback as to the type of person you are.

How to deal with her suggesting a break

If she suggests a break and you become emotionally affected, she will be confirming her perception of you that you are weak and are reliant on her to be happy. This is the losing response. It will only encourage her more towards a break-up.

The best response is to remain calm. Obviously it may be emotionally impactful, but you have to be able to show her that you can accept the decision and you can be ok without her. This may seem counter-intuitive, but this is the reaction that will display you at your most attractive.

Naturally she wants a strong man. A strong man wouldn't crumble at the suggestion of losing her and he would be able to continue having a great life without her. This is far more likely to make her think twice. It's more likely to make her attracted to you.

Focus on yourself to avoid breaks

Women often lose attraction and love for their guys when they lose direction in life. Start focusing on yourself, improve yourself, increase your confidence. This will add to you becoming as attractive as you can be. As long your girl is attracted to you she is more likely to be happy in her relationship. The thought of having a break won't cross her mind if her needs are being met.


Asking for a break is generally a girl's way of telling you that she is uncertain about being your girlfriend. She may have lost attraction for you or found someone else. Generally, it's not a good sign.