Relationship Help for Guys

Real advice to help regular guys blast through their relationship problems

Why is my girlfriend deleting messages?

3 minutes

If your girlfriend is deleting her messages, then there is one simple explanation: she doesn’t want you to see what was written.

The more important question is why doesn’t she want you to see them? Unfortunately, the most likely answer is that she believes if you saw the messages it could damage your relationship. It's not a good sign.

She's deleting messages that could damage your relationship

If she’s hiding her communications from you, it could be that she’s been organising a surprise birthday party for you. However, it’s more likely that she has been talking about something that could have a negative impact on your relationship, so she’s trying to minimise that risk. She may have been talking to another guy in a sexual or romantic way, or even planning to break up with you. If she took the effort to delete it, it's most likely something that could damage her relationship with you.

If she denies deleting messages, she wants to carry on

Maybe you happen to know for certain that she has deleted some messages. But if you later allude to it or confront her about it then she might deny it or play it off as nothing serious. What are her intentions here? Most likely the messages concern your relationship in some way. By denying it, she’s indicating that she doesn’t want you to get suspicious and wants to carry on messaging without you knowing.

She deletes messages because she doesn’t want to lose you

Women want different qualities from men. They have a lot of boxes to be ticked to be fully satisfied. Sometimes, if she isn’t getting all those qualities from one guy, she might look for someone else to fill the gaps.

Maybe you’re a good boyfriend most of the time, and she’s happy being with you, but she needs a fix of excitement from someone else to keep her feelings topped up. Maybe you’re an arse and she’s looking for someone to give her some attention. Either way, she’s still with you and probably wants to keep it that way, so she deletes the messages to prevent you leaving. Whether that’s acceptable to you or not, only you can decide.

She may be planning to break-up with you

Worst case scenario, the relationship is dead in her eyes. She may be emotionally involved with another guy, hoping to move on with him. Or she may be contacting friends looking for support to leave you. These are the kinds of messages she's going to make sure she deletes.


If she's deleting messages then she's trying to hide something from you, and that something probably isn't a good thing for your relationship.